0100100001100101011000010111001001110100 → Heart …
some F.Y.I.: Difference between Capital binary Broken vs lower case binary broken and Capital binary Heart vs lower case binary heart Binary Code! For those 1337 g33ks out there… enjoy… others am sure are “shaking their heads!” lol remember, it takes many kinds to make the world, otherwise it sure would be booO.Oooring!
011000100111001001101111011010110110010101101110 – broken
0110100001100101011000010111001001110100 - heart
At 6:50 ish this A.M. trying to go to sleep I was thinking… how simple animals and computers are. 1 0 or I O is the standard binary code that makes up computers and “programming” nowadays is more “fancy” but the “root” of it is… Binary (bi-na-ry = noun; 15th century;: something made of or based on two things or parts as a: Binary Star b: a binary number system). Animals, much like computers are simple, input = output, but their love is unconditional, especially dogs, I have seen it… you can beat a dog sensless (not recommended, abhor unnecessary violence on ANY living creature) and the dog will go back to his “master” waggin his tail and ready to give love and receive it. Some dogs will only take so much and turn on “said” master, and the master will get his “cum-uppins!” what you sow, so shall yea reap! Unfortantely, more often than not the dog will succumb to death or dropped off out in the “wild” and will become hunted or a hunter. “Real Life” sucks at times… but back to my “point” animals sense who is a “pet person” and who is not, and they respond also to “necessity” and/or “needs.” Instinctively I have seen a dog handle very gently an elderly person near her death bed and “give” her a warm smile through her touch and allowing her to stroke her. Speaking of my beloved Jenna and my beloved departed Grandma Ceil.
Grandma got to where she responded only to Jenna and smiled and “woke-up” to pet her. Jenna in return, brought herself under Grandma’s hand so she could “pet” her. She stood there for as long as Grandma needed, and just as Grandma tired, she lowered herself and Dad and I helped Grandma settle back in her chair. Everyone in the room had a tear rolling down their face. Jenna was special like that, and at the time did not know that she was a Reiki dog. Lol, being an Akita, go figure! So the “na-sayers” that say dogs do not “realize” or “reason” well… guess what, like there are many “arsie” holes out there, there are as many opinions! So animals “get it” and so do electronic components, especially computers… and I can relate to them very well. Even insects! Yep am a cricket whisperer! Or Dr.Doolittle of the insect world and some animals. Or so my niece has called me.
One nite while she was staying with us, she witnessed it firsthand. The kids had told her that I was talking to a cricket that had adopted our family and she scoffed at them. So she was spending time with “Aunty J” on a sleep over and got to see it. Let’s back up a bit. A cricket had gotten stuck in my kids room and had been chirping for a couple of days, well “Sissy” (Kat, my daughter) is not a “jumping bug person) and was sleeping with Mom until it left. Well I could not find it to catch it and put it outside. After two days of tears, from the kidd, and listening to their beautiful music, I decided for my daughter’s sanity to try to find this cricket. So when he started chripping I snuck into their room and soflty cooed to the cricket and told him if he would hop out to the living room I would catch him gently and release him so he could enjoy outside and play his music out there. Later that night after the kids had gone to bed and I was relaxing, I saw movement… yep the cricket hopped out to the middle of the living room floor and did a lil chirp. I was blown away. So I told him to stay still while I got a container, and he did. I put the container over him, gently slid him over paper, opened the front door and let him hop out on the grass. As I shut the door, he started playing his music. When I caught him I noticed he was black and a good size, which I learned later he is an “older” cricket, so he got named “Grandpa Cricket” lol. So “Sissy” was able to return to her bed the following evening upon a through investigation of the room and me telling her of the “encounter,” and with me promising to stay in the room till she fell asleep. lol, A few days later, he returned! No joke! After I had put the kids down I saw movement again, he chirped at me…. I let him chirp for a bit, he stopped so I scooped him and put him out. This happened on a regular basis over the summer. And a tiny cricket had gotten stuck in the house and… yep it went to the middle of the floor, chirped once, and he was released outside after i caught the lil one.
Now… back to my neice, she had asked me if I talked to animals, and I said, well of course… I have always talked to them, they listen, and for the most part don’t “back talk”… she giggled and said, “Nawww, you know like Dr. Doolittle Auntie, talk to them and they understand?” I chuckled and asked her why she was asking me this? She told me about the kids talking about Grandpa Cricket and the “story” they had told her and she wanted to know if it was true…. lol as if right on cue, sure enough Grandpa Cricket hopped out into the middle of the living room floor, chirped, and her mouth dropped open! I giggled and gave a salutation to Grandpa Cricket… told him to be still… went and got a container, caught him… she excitedly asked if she could release him outside, so I let her… and well… it was a fun night with “Aunty J!” she did not question me after that, nor did she question my kids!
lol… so anywhoosen, since that time I have talked to other animals and insects and whether its vibrations, tones or what, we communicate. I had to get over my fear of Praying Mantis… they really used to creep me out! But they are wonderful creatures and will “take you on, man” they can do it… lol, the have the “little dog” syndrome! But they are wonderful natural garden insect pesticide mini generals, and also had to get past spiders… as well, realized that I have spider medicine in me… thanks to a couple of friends pointing that out to me. So unless I get the “danger sense” they live to do their thing and help remind me of “things.” They do have their place. Even snakes… another fear had to get past… but that is another story, the spiders and snakes! lol, that is a song! Ahaahaahahahahaa! *grins*
So… why all this blathering, last night was rough with my sis-in-law, (going to call her Rose okay, for she is a lovely flower! :)) so Rose did not have a good night. Her pain meds are getting low, and she will not see a primary doctor until Monday(7.12.10), and hopefully this one will take her on. Until then some of her “controlled” substances cannot be refilled until she is established here. Because of the seizures “healing” is taking a bit more time and her pain level, well what they gave her in the 2nd of July, she “ate” through that already, and we were in “reserves.” The “reserves” are at a lower dose, so she started eating through those quickly and in “counting” to see if she would make it to Monday… at the rate she is going right now, the meds would run out Saturday/Sunday in the A.M. hours… so we discussed and plotted out to try to manage her pain, and stretch the meds till Monday before her appointment. Thursday/Friday night/a.m. was not too bad, she woke up but went back to bed. I did have extra strength pain otc ready for her, but she whisked back to bed before I could intercept her. Last night/a.m. was a different story. She woke up around 1:30 a.m., gave her a choice of pain reliever, which had a couple of her Rx pain med with extra strength otc (otc = over the counter) so she took that and a muscle relaxer (part of her med schedule) and hopefully that would tide her over till “Mom’s” shift, which starts around 6-7:00a.m. at 3:40a.m. she was up in pain and the only thing I could offer her was extra strength otc! My heart broke for her… I was thinking about packing it in hoping she might be able to work through the pain and I fell asleep trying to shut down my computer! She woke me up around 6:30a.m. ish in bad shape… mom too had stirred, so went ahead and gave her pain meds… I wanted to burst into tears, then I decided after I had had some sleep that we would re-talk this over and just go with the “regular” schedule and when it runs out take her to E.R. hopefully priory to a seizure as these meds were part of her seizure problem.
So as I laid in bed trying to get at least a couple of hours sleep… to clear my head, I struck me… computers and animals are similar, simple and we relate and “get each other” all so well… lol go figure why doing programming and why Reiki, I am, am I, found its way into my life. It is simple pure and it gets to the core of the issue(s) or problem(s) and flows freely and unconditionally for any one that wants its healing touch. Course, like with my kids, when then would get sick, would make sure they got taken care of, but when I would get sick would “forget” to take care of me or suddenly get “upid” about it. I do that now… lol, when things are “happening” to others (brought to mind, or hear of a need, or get asked, or stumble upon a situation… etc.,), Reiki turns on, kicks in and goes to it, at times my whole body emanates it and I get a “rush of flush” (Kundalini Reiki – heap powerful stuff, woah man!) lol and when things are swirling round me or something is amiss… “duuuuh” hits me and well “me forgets!” fortunately my Reiki Master, and Reiki friends/associates/Dear Hearts, come to the rescue and send it to me! For instance, last week my right leg was going into cellulites and within a couple of days when I woke up it was gone, so Thank You!!! Whome ever picked up on that need….. the prayer warriors also helped on that one too! So tytytytytytytytyty my Dear <3 Hearts for holding me up! lmho (laugh my hiney off *wink*) “This” was running through my head as I tried to fall asleep… at first figured would just rest for a couple of hours then get up and tend to Rose (my sweet sis-in-law… member named her that.. eheeheeeheehehe easier to type instead of sweet sis-in-law… faster! Ahaahahahahaaa!) before I knew it Punkin (Mom’s dog) was using my head as a pillow, lol, and I stirred… it was 11:00 a.m.! Wow, got some a lil bit of rest. So bounded up… well drug out bed and tried to orient and start “counting” when is Rose due for meds… brushed teeth, went to grab some coffee and the day started.
While I was pondering if I should write this “loonicy” down, it came to me, thank you dear sweet <3 Angels, that yes… need to and update my blog. As this is my “live” journal so to speak of. lol, when I moved here to “OK land” my daily journal writing came to an abrupt halt due to Dad’s care, I would start an entry and the bell would ring or it would be time for meds, breathing treatment… etc., feed, water dogs (not the planted ones! lol!!!) and quickly the journaling got dropped. And I missed it terribly; it has kept me “sane” over the years. Now… since I want to keep my beloved family and friends in the know, and keep me sane… this is working… well sort of? ahaahaaaa!
Anywho.osen! This entry is a snap shot, but more importantly… it is communication. When I sent out the mass email, (do not like those, they can be “impersonal”) but I value each and every one of you. For whatever reason all of you have been brought into my life at some point and there is always a reason “Why” things happen, (there are no coincidences!) people are brought together, and why some relationships last, no matter what or why… I realize a “friendship” with me is “trying” as I can be a flake… (caused by bouts of depression from having fibromyalgia, I retreat inwards) and withdraw all communications because “I do not deserve friends.” This is a lil lie that resounds in my head harshly, so it takes me a little bit to work through that period where I eventually “snap out of it.” Sometimes I feel like my “tin foil” is a lil loose! lol, and not honed into the “Home Planet!” ahaahaaa so… when I “lapse” that is part of the reason, the other, which is most of the time, is I am not a good “keep in touch” type personage. (note sent out a couple of days ago)
So… there you have it… as said before, everything happens for a reason, no coincidences and this experience with Rose, Mom, my Bro and I are happening for a reason. Dad and that experience paved the way to prepare both Mom and I for this, and this is preparing her and I both for something else… what? We do not know, but am sure it will be “interesting” and “enriching” for all things work for “the Big Kahuna’s Glory” and he guides us and send us assistance! (so grateful for His Angels, Spirit and guides!!!) I have blathered on loooooooong enough, need to jet as its about dinner time, (well lunch for me! lol) and the girls want “breakfast” for dinner! ROFL!!! eheeheeee so need to get off of here with this update so can get “scrambling!” Also, some meds came in today for Rose... so we are back on schedule and tonight/a.m. will be much better. She had called her Idaho physician explaiing what was going on and they gave her enough to last till she gets a Doctor here! Thank goodness and Thank you "Big Kahuna" upstairs!!! He does look out for us all!
Take care and have a most Blessed day!
^j^ Jeannine ^j^
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
): Miss You Dad! :(
It has been almost a year since Dad’s passing, Aug.13.2010… Today more than other days I seem to be missing him. I got an early afternoon with just me and the pupps, so got a lil bit of a break, really needed it. As I let the water hit me in the shower, also missed Hawaii, the rain, walking in it, and swimming in the ocean while it rained. The smells afterwards are just amazing and whisk you away to an island paradise… you get to lose yourself and everything else and for a moment, tranquility touches you lightly dancing all over your body as the rain falls. As that memory faded I realized it was just the shower “rain” and got abruptly jolted back into “real life.” Which has become a waking nightmare… as of late, actually a really weird dream, of the alt/gothic variety! 0.0
Last month saw us preparing for incoming family, my brother and his wife and then they turned around and took her to a medical facility in Tulsa Oklahoma to help her realize that she is allowed to eat and its okay and yes she is a valuable person and deserves to live. She suffers from anorexia and has other ailments, but this was the immediate concern as she was borderline to the “point of no return,” with a possible “six feet under” resolution. Which is NOT what anyone in our family wants, especially her husband (my bro) and her girls, as well as Mom and me.
(btw = by the way… I really don’t care if these sentences are “correct”… don’t have the energy to “fix” them…!)
So with her being there for at least 21 days, Mom and my Bro went up as often as was allowed to Tulsa to see her, with Bro going an additional day for “family” counseling. My duties then were “Dog Duty” (crowd control or “keep them from fighting”) as my baby boy… Gabriel, is very aggressive with playing and when first meet… as he “IS” the Alpha male and well… Maggie, my brother and sis-n-law’s dog is a wee lil yorkie, cute as a button and may be 5lbs soaking wet!!! And would be a two bite snack for him! Not that he would, but until he “gets used” to a new dog… well, my duty is to keep them on a rotating schedule so they both get a chance to socialize with family and the other two dogs (mom’s dogs), but are a room apart. So that is my job and to resupply the tea…. That was for about 3 weeks… she came home June.25.on a Friday………. and, well….. that was eleven days ago and it feels like it has been a life time.
No complaints, but is has been very intense. We are having to monitor her eating and meds… “We” have issues with mood and pain monitoring meds and “We” tend to feel like “We” need them sooner than necessary… so Mom does the nutrition and I am the “Pill Police,” which has but me back on a “Vampie” shift (which I totally loooove!) and make sure she is supplied when necessary. Just before she came home, she had a siezire as they tried to take her off some of her meds too fast that need to be tapered off, so her body decided to “flip”on her. So between the meds and her anorexia she flat out fell while in line to get her lunch meal. The night before she had one too, she woke up with big bruises the next day, then had another, which left her with deep muscle and tissue bruising, ribs bruised, mild concussion, more meds, more “stuff” to deal with. (foggy to moderate memory loss, which she already suffers with that anyways from years ago… another long story) so in trying to get her meds situated, her situated, a routine etc… “daily” life around here is not boring. About 3 days in there was a “meltdown” regarding pain meds so we had to come to an agreement, which left me in charge of monitoring and dispersing meds… period. (keeping mom out of the line of fire… so to speak) so I get to be the “baaad cop” when needed… but am learning new approach methods and in talking with my dear sis-n-law, keep telling her, trying to help her so she wont over medicate… which would lead to another set of problems. She will take meds and then 15 mins later ask for meds forgetting that she had just taken them and that she last took them in the morning… So there is a “mental” agility I am having to perform and by the time the day is done I am really tired and cannot think straight! Gee wonder how I can put this down on a resume! Lol
… “I have been an assistant care taker for my beloved Father, which lasted for close to 2 years that covered various duties, meds, nurse, shots, changing feeding tubes, running monitors for his breathing apparatus, keeping charts, helping with daily laundry, taking care of dogs, more laundry, worked the graves so mom could “sleep in,” lifting Dad up in the bed, as his hind end was like a banana peel and he was so tall, he was constantly slipping down in his bed (he was bedfast)… helping with “doogy duty” (wont go there on that description)… doing sticks, to see if need shot to keep from going into a diabetic coma, breathing treatments (due to him being on a vent), helping mom change his circuit (the vent helped him breath), making up charts to keep meds in line…” so how could label that experience?!? lol
Then after he passed… got things taken care of so could go back to school, knew would need a distraction… also knew summer school would not work, did not know exactly why… now do! Lol, so cut to june/july and now how would this be labeled….???
… “I have been a primary/assistant care taker for my sweet sister-in-law, primary pill pusher/supplier/moderator/charter, (also made charts to monitor with… tytytyty excel class!!! had this spring! Whoop! Lol made is sooo much more easier) work graves to ensure patient receives meds, “relaxer meds,” gets back to bed safely (some of her meds makes her like those wibbly wobblies! you know those toys from a few ago! lol) help chart her meals, offer support emotional and reassurance. Have learned perspective and approaches have to be tailored at times moment by moment… as memory is affected on a constant rotating basis…. crisis management skills are developing and tested… as still on doggy rotating duty… resupply tea, feed/water dogs, and household duties too…..” so how would one describe this?
The real question is will I use this on a resume? You are for sure darn tootin!!! So what have you done since laid off in the summer of 2007?!? Hmmmmmmm how long do you really have for this interview? ROFL! Ahaahaaaa! Why am I thinking about this now? As still have a good 4 years to go till get my degree and can seriously apply for programming positions?!? Well, that is how my brain works and is unfortaunatly/fortunately wired and thanks to my Dad! Bless him! He was always thinking ahead and fortunately I got that gene… but it can drive me batty at times! lol!!! Do I regret what is going on right now or feel put upon?!? Nope, am glad, very glad can help out my brother and think a lot lately, this is a drop in the bucket compared to what he has had to got through… he has been going through this on his own for ten years or so! So Mom and I both are more than happy to help him and her out! He is leaving tomorrow to go pack up their place, as they will be staying with us for an undetermined amount of time. I love my family, we pitch in and help and take care of our own… course my salary right now is paid in love and thank you’s…. (doesn’t pay the bills, but ya know… things seem to work out!... how? Ya know they just do) and in the mean time we take it day by day… and thank our Beloved Heavenly Creator that he has our back and supplies what we need, when we need it. Life goes on and we continue to learn, grow and find moments that help us make it through the day.
Well I have yacked on loooooooong enough…. and will close for now. If you want to “find” me on my current “e.s.c.a.p.e.” (Dori’s version..lol) send me an email vjv_ahc@yahoo.com and will send you an invite to come play with “Darnel” (my dragon) and me! Eheeheeee! Soon will be on facebook and will let you know my "handle" so if ya want, can find me there.
Thank you, My friends and loved ones, for the prayers, thoughts and Reiki, may your day be graced with wonderful blessings and may the Angels leave you with a wonderful message! In lite and with many good juju thoughts,
vjv Jeannine vjv
Last month saw us preparing for incoming family, my brother and his wife and then they turned around and took her to a medical facility in Tulsa Oklahoma to help her realize that she is allowed to eat and its okay and yes she is a valuable person and deserves to live. She suffers from anorexia and has other ailments, but this was the immediate concern as she was borderline to the “point of no return,” with a possible “six feet under” resolution. Which is NOT what anyone in our family wants, especially her husband (my bro) and her girls, as well as Mom and me.
(btw = by the way… I really don’t care if these sentences are “correct”… don’t have the energy to “fix” them…!)
So with her being there for at least 21 days, Mom and my Bro went up as often as was allowed to Tulsa to see her, with Bro going an additional day for “family” counseling. My duties then were “Dog Duty” (crowd control or “keep them from fighting”) as my baby boy… Gabriel, is very aggressive with playing and when first meet… as he “IS” the Alpha male and well… Maggie, my brother and sis-n-law’s dog is a wee lil yorkie, cute as a button and may be 5lbs soaking wet!!! And would be a two bite snack for him! Not that he would, but until he “gets used” to a new dog… well, my duty is to keep them on a rotating schedule so they both get a chance to socialize with family and the other two dogs (mom’s dogs), but are a room apart. So that is my job and to resupply the tea…. That was for about 3 weeks… she came home June.25.on a Friday………. and, well….. that was eleven days ago and it feels like it has been a life time.
No complaints, but is has been very intense. We are having to monitor her eating and meds… “We” have issues with mood and pain monitoring meds and “We” tend to feel like “We” need them sooner than necessary… so Mom does the nutrition and I am the “Pill Police,” which has but me back on a “Vampie” shift (which I totally loooove!) and make sure she is supplied when necessary. Just before she came home, she had a siezire as they tried to take her off some of her meds too fast that need to be tapered off, so her body decided to “flip”on her. So between the meds and her anorexia she flat out fell while in line to get her lunch meal. The night before she had one too, she woke up with big bruises the next day, then had another, which left her with deep muscle and tissue bruising, ribs bruised, mild concussion, more meds, more “stuff” to deal with. (foggy to moderate memory loss, which she already suffers with that anyways from years ago… another long story) so in trying to get her meds situated, her situated, a routine etc… “daily” life around here is not boring. About 3 days in there was a “meltdown” regarding pain meds so we had to come to an agreement, which left me in charge of monitoring and dispersing meds… period. (keeping mom out of the line of fire… so to speak) so I get to be the “baaad cop” when needed… but am learning new approach methods and in talking with my dear sis-n-law, keep telling her, trying to help her so she wont over medicate… which would lead to another set of problems. She will take meds and then 15 mins later ask for meds forgetting that she had just taken them and that she last took them in the morning… So there is a “mental” agility I am having to perform and by the time the day is done I am really tired and cannot think straight! Gee wonder how I can put this down on a resume! Lol
… “I have been an assistant care taker for my beloved Father, which lasted for close to 2 years that covered various duties, meds, nurse, shots, changing feeding tubes, running monitors for his breathing apparatus, keeping charts, helping with daily laundry, taking care of dogs, more laundry, worked the graves so mom could “sleep in,” lifting Dad up in the bed, as his hind end was like a banana peel and he was so tall, he was constantly slipping down in his bed (he was bedfast)… helping with “doogy duty” (wont go there on that description)… doing sticks, to see if need shot to keep from going into a diabetic coma, breathing treatments (due to him being on a vent), helping mom change his circuit (the vent helped him breath), making up charts to keep meds in line…” so how could label that experience?!? lol
Then after he passed… got things taken care of so could go back to school, knew would need a distraction… also knew summer school would not work, did not know exactly why… now do! Lol, so cut to june/july and now how would this be labeled….???
… “I have been a primary/assistant care taker for my sweet sister-in-law, primary pill pusher/supplier/moderator/charter, (also made charts to monitor with… tytytyty excel class!!! had this spring! Whoop! Lol made is sooo much more easier) work graves to ensure patient receives meds, “relaxer meds,” gets back to bed safely (some of her meds makes her like those wibbly wobblies! you know those toys from a few ago! lol) help chart her meals, offer support emotional and reassurance. Have learned perspective and approaches have to be tailored at times moment by moment… as memory is affected on a constant rotating basis…. crisis management skills are developing and tested… as still on doggy rotating duty… resupply tea, feed/water dogs, and household duties too…..” so how would one describe this?
The real question is will I use this on a resume? You are for sure darn tootin!!! So what have you done since laid off in the summer of 2007?!? Hmmmmmmm how long do you really have for this interview? ROFL! Ahaahaaaa! Why am I thinking about this now? As still have a good 4 years to go till get my degree and can seriously apply for programming positions?!? Well, that is how my brain works and is unfortaunatly/fortunately wired and thanks to my Dad! Bless him! He was always thinking ahead and fortunately I got that gene… but it can drive me batty at times! lol!!! Do I regret what is going on right now or feel put upon?!? Nope, am glad, very glad can help out my brother and think a lot lately, this is a drop in the bucket compared to what he has had to got through… he has been going through this on his own for ten years or so! So Mom and I both are more than happy to help him and her out! He is leaving tomorrow to go pack up their place, as they will be staying with us for an undetermined amount of time. I love my family, we pitch in and help and take care of our own… course my salary right now is paid in love and thank you’s…. (doesn’t pay the bills, but ya know… things seem to work out!... how? Ya know they just do) and in the mean time we take it day by day… and thank our Beloved Heavenly Creator that he has our back and supplies what we need, when we need it. Life goes on and we continue to learn, grow and find moments that help us make it through the day.
Well I have yacked on loooooooong enough…. and will close for now. If you want to “find” me on my current “e.s.c.a.p.e.” (Dori’s version..lol) send me an email vjv_ahc@yahoo.com and will send you an invite to come play with “Darnel” (my dragon) and me! Eheeheeee! Soon will be on facebook and will let you know my "handle" so if ya want, can find me there.
Thank you, My friends and loved ones, for the prayers, thoughts and Reiki, may your day be graced with wonderful blessings and may the Angels leave you with a wonderful message! In lite and with many good juju thoughts,
vjv Jeannine vjv
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